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French Language and Culture March 17, 2008 I was waiting in line at Norma - a local grocery store here in Strasbourg, France - noticing the man in front of me. He was about 60-years-old and although he hadn't said a word he was distinctly American. There was something about the way his face was held and the pasty, red nose and cheeks that was distinctly American. I was pondering this question as I waited in yet another notoriously long, everyday line at the local market. This man's mannerisms were not at all French. The French all gather together. Heck, they could fit 72 people in a VW bug comfortably and never once complain. That's just how they are. They gather. They wait. No problem. It's a French thing. Americans have no patience, as well as a propensity to complain. The line was moving typically slow and he was staring at the cashier and the person who was being waited on with a look of impatience and 'what's taking so long? Can't you hurry this up?'. Of course, the French would never acknowledge such a look as the idea of hurrying things along at a time when there is nothing to do but wait would simply not occur to a French person. Once your grocery items have been rung up you better have your cash or credit card in hand and your bag should be packed and ready to go by the time you have received your money back. The French have absolutely no patience when it comes to waiting for you to pack your food bag or while you fumble to get your form of payment. That's the French way and you get used to it. You accept it as part of the French culture. French people also never look around when they are waiting in line. They look directly ahead and wait patiently. Periodically, someone in front of you will mumble something sweetly and slightly apologetically because they forgot something and now have to run back to get it at which point, you just smile kindly and figure out their words from their gestures. The man standing in front of me was bobbing his head this way and that, looking around the store, observing what other people were doing. Very American. A dead giveaway culturally speaking... by the way, my head bobs, too. I'm not terribly sure I'm going to give that one up. Who knows why the French don't want to look around. Perhaps the rest of the world isn't their business so why would they look? I was reminded of the French way when compared to the Americanized mannerisms of the man in front of me. He pushed all the little food dividers to the back so that the people newer in line could use them to separate their groceries from that of the person before- or after them. The French would never do this. I'm not kidding. In the year-and-a-half I have lived in France I have never once seen a French person move the dividers back. Why? Who knows. It's one of those things you write off as 'It's a French thing'. Nonetheless, I'm American and therefore I still move the dividers back and generally speaking the French are quite grateful and say, 'Merci'. Another dead giveaway that he was America was that he kept his food items about 6-8 inches back from the person's food supply in front of him. A French person would never do this. The person behind me had to run back and get several bags of Easter candy and simply dumped them half on her items and half on mine. In the States, you'd be giving someone a dirty look for that. Here, it's just done. It's French. No harm. Pas grave. (Not a big deal.) My groceries were about 4-5 inches from the American man's groceries in front of me and his little gestured look at the invisible line that I had somehow invaded his space was clear. I believe my empty grocery bag barely may have touched the back of his lower thigh and the backward swing of his elbow indicating THIS IS MY SPACE came swinging within inches of my nose. Very American. Not at all French. Sometimes people rest their bag or purse against me for so long I just wonder if my a** has become so big that it seconds as a convenient shelf. I've loosened up somewhat with my space vs your space vs communal space in small spaces here in France but clearly saw the difference between French and American spacial boundaries when observing this man's behavior and actions. It was finally the American man's turn in at the checkout stand. First off, he didn't bring a any kind of grocery bag and had to buy one. In France, you bring your own bag to the supermarket. France outlawed plastic bags about a year ago, and have never used paper bags since I have lived here. I don't know how much the bags cost that you can buy at the supermarket but they are probably strong enough to last a year and would allow you to carry as much as perhaps three regular plastic bags or a large paper bag. Canvas shopping bags are also available in most French grocery stores. When it came time to pay, the French checkout girl said the price, in French, and the man fumbled. He was at a lost. He asked in a quivering voice, and in English, "How much is it?" I'm fully aware that the lady does not speak English and so I told him, "It's $12.72." To which he replied that he didn't hear her and didn't have his glasses. The glasses would have helped him see the price on the register. Hearing her say the price, in French, would not have helped him at all. He mentioned that he has lived here for four years. I couldn't believe it. He has lived here longer than me. Finally, someone who speaks less French then me! When I made reference to it he quickly allowed himself the excuse that he has only had 27 hours of classes (...and his point, he's still lived here for over four year...) and is constantly traveling throughout Asia. (...again, his point???) I suppose I could say that I'm not learning French because I'm constantly gallivanting around Western Europe and the UK. Nah, not my style. Honestly, I was simply delighted to have met a kindred spirit, although I don't think he ever picked up that. He was clearly a duck out of water - as I am most of the time in France. I don't speak French well enough to carry on a conversation but can order what I need and get a general gist of some basic things. All in all, I prefer the French was of gathering communally - when it has to do with waiting in line - to the push and shove 'this is my space' attitude in America. However, I don't appreciate the French 'no business is private business' which is a run off of the French concept of sharing space. When I asked the American man where he was from he kind of fumbled and said he has lived all over and moved here from Toronto four-years-ago. He was American whether he fessed up to it or not. My guess is that he was probably from Ohio or Illinois, perhaps Connecticut or New Hampshire. One thing I'd never do is lie and say I wasn't American. I like being an American. I also like being an American living in France! If you have enjoyed this article, please consider leaving a donation. I love giving to you. I also love receiving. All the best! 
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