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Jan 21, 2008 Back when we lived in Florida and Sophie was about 9-years-old (she thinks younger) she asked to color her hair blue. She was in acting classes and had an agent, at the time. I suggested that she would not be able to act if she colored her hair. I left the decision up to her. A couple years later, when she was 11-years-old, we moved to LA to further pursue her dreams of acting. She still wanted blue hair. She chose to keep it long and natural in color so that it would not interfere with her ability to get roles or to keep her agent. The teen years are a difficult time for kids to get jobs acting. Productions generally prefer to hire older kids to play younger (18-years-old to play 15-years-old, 16-years-old to play 12-years-old) and well... Sophie didn't look younger. By the time Sophie was 13-years-old we decided to put her in a boarding school where she majored in Motion Picture Arts. After a few weeks of being at the school she called and asked if it was okay if she cut her hair short and colored it blue. I said, "Sure Honey, it's your choice at this point. Thanks for running it by me." In some ways, I'm a strict parent. In some ways, I'm not. Basically, no smoking, drinking, drugs or sex. Hair color I couldn't give a hoot about - unless we find out it's a toxic topical, which it is not. When we first moved to France, I was a little concerned that Sophie's hair color might make it more difficult for us to get an apartment or for her to get into the school of her choice, so I asked her to dye it black until we were settled in. She agreed. Once Sophie's hair started growing out she began to bleach the roots blond and dye it blue. It looked incredibly cool. She had black hair with blue roots. She got quite a nice response, especially from ladies 70 and over. (By the way, in the South of France, where we lived at the time, the older a woman is the better she dresses. The young women dress conservatively. The older woman go all out and take wardrobe risks.) Sophie never had a problem with her blue hair at her school, whether it was with her natural hair being dyed blue or when she had blue dreadlocks. Then we moved here... The principal of this school told Sophie she had to take the dreadlocks out or Sophie would not be able to attend the school. We moved here specifically so that Sophie could attend this particular school. It is one of the finest lycees (high schools) in France with strong Theatre and Art History departments. Sophie cried. I tried to reason with the principal who stated that if Sophie did it then all the students would want to do it and what would it be like having a school filled with children who had all kinds of color in their hair. I thought it sounded fun, cheery and colorful. The principal exclaimed that students came to this school from around the world and that for the students to learn tolerance they must all look the same. (Of course in reality, for people to learn tolerance people must tolerate differences.) The principal said that Sophie could have natural colored dreadlocks and suggested blond (her own hair was a very light, fake blonde). At first, Sophie went with black. It took a while for us to add all the dreads to her hair, a total of 166 dreads. The lady who is in charge of Sophie's grade level said to be careful because Sophie was beginning to look too goth. Nothing had changed except Sophie's hair color - the principal of the school wears nothing but black... and she's not in mourning. We had finally finished putting in Sophie's dreadlocks at the end of the first vacation. I told Sophie to let me know if there was a problem at school and I would go to school with her to discuss it with her principal - that it was not Sophie's place, as a child, to handle this matter alone. I also strongly suggested Sophie take my recommendation to call the city to see if she had any legal rights because, to me, it seemed like discrimination per French law. Sophie was a little worried and really didn't want to take her dreads out, so she called the city who told her that the school could not kick her out and that it was Sophie's right to wear her hair as she saw fit and if push came to shove we might have to go to court over the matter. I asked Sophie if she was willing to go to court over it, she said she was. With our new information, determination and right on our side we went to speak with the principal. One look at Sophie and the lady said, "No!". On and on she went. It was clear she had been forewarned of our call to the city. She said that she would never help Sophie to get into a university and that she would never accept another student without first seeing them (a very bigoted attitude if you ask me). The principal paced back and forth and slammed her folder down, then picked it up and slammed it down again, over and over this went on. It was cute, very French. I was steadfast and a little perturbed at this woman's complete willful ignorance and lack of tolerance. She said it would hurt the reputation of the school. I said, "Really? Sophie shows up for class, gets on well with her studies, teachers and classmates and gets decent grades. How exactly could a student like that hurt a school's reputation. She doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs or date, yet. This is a student to be proud of!" Three days later it was announced that the principal would be transferring to another school, after 13 years of being at this same school. Sophie now has blue dreads again. The school has made it clear that they detest Sophie's hair and think I'm a horrible mother for allowing her to make such a choice. With that in mind, I feel no need for Sophie to keep to the black, brown or blond dreads as initially discussed. Besides, it's discrimination for the school to put such restrictions on Sophie but not on the other students with colored hair. The school says that other students look up to Sophie and the school doesn't like that. Honestly, I don't see a problem with it. I've always been a strong advocate of acceptance and tolerance, as long as it doesn't hurt yourself or others. In the end, we learned something about French law. The French are very open-minded. Well... uh... at least French law is open-minded. The law protects my child to be who she wants to be and to express herself accordingly. Sophie wants to direct films when she's older. I believe that allowing her to be herself, a unique individual, will only help her to speak her mind and create the films she truly envisions without feeling unnecessarily swayed by others. I strongly believe that one of the problems in society is that people are constantly oppressing each other. It makes for miserable people and an unhealthy, dysfunctional society. We need to accept each other for who we are and not fear change whether it is inside ourselves or in those around us. As an individual and a parent, the best I can do is practice what I preach and to set a good example. I care about good grades, drugs, sex, drinking, smoking and healthy food and friends. I'll take a pass on hair color. If you have enjoyed this article, please consider leaving a donation. I love giving to you. I also love receiving. All the best! | 
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